4 Days to Empty Nesting Solo

My dog Shelby always bolts when I cry. I was shocked last night when I had my first shoulder shaking, tear spurting meltdown and she stayed pressed into my side. It was like she knew I needed her. My son came upstairs and heard me which was a disappointment. I'm supposed to be strong for him. I'm not supposed to fall apart. Didn't I get the memo?

The distress kept me awake. I didn't even toss and turn because I knew fighting anxiety was a pointless endeavor. I tried to watch T.V. but that made me angry as it will become my only friend when my son leaves. And unless something radical happens in my life that is what it will be for a very long time. Ugh.

Thankfully, a better idea hit me soon after. He asked his dad and I to write him a letter for boot camp.

I had been avoiding it for five months. But there I was in the middle of the night desperate for distraction. It seemed as good a time as any so I commenced to writing him a four-page letter remembering good times we had. I added in some laughs, some advice, and sprinkled my faith over the whole thing. It was masterful for a tired, weepy mom.

After a few hours of sleep, I folded it into an envelope and left it on his phone this morning so he couldn't miss it. I came home to find a white envelope that said "Mom" on my bed and I softened. He knew I needed one to help me through his new life. God help me!